Some days just start out wrong. Friday was that way for us. We went here and there and everywhere but nothing was working out. For example, at the township offices we found out that you can only get dog licenses there January through March. After that, you have to go downtown to the county building. Little Levi is still not legal. Seven stops that day and none of them worked out including the place where we wanted to eat lunch was closed under unusual circumstances.
Having our appointed rounds of errands go off into never-never land it was time for a decision. 1) We could go home grumpy and out of sorts because we'd have to spend another day in do-overs; or 2) we could declare a vacation day and go home after doing something fun. We picked door number two and went to a small town museum that by rare coincidence happened to be open that day. We've wanted to go to that museum for three years but they're only open by chance and circumstances like days when the town is celebrating something special. Bingo! Our chance we had come to tour the place and by the circumstances of everything else going wrong, we had extra time on our hands to do just that.
Life is that way sometimes. You plan. You hope. You take the steps needed to get you where you want to go and a gutter ball goes down the lane leaving all your pins still standing. Those are the times when I ask myself my favorite coping question: "Is this a disaster or an inconvenience?" Sure, it's awesome when things go just right and all your metaphorical pins go down in one powerful smack of the ball. It's almost as satisfying when it takes a second ball to get the job done. But I'll let you in on a little secret: if you live life without keeping score, you can still feel good about the gutter balls of life, about changing directions in the middle of the stream. Yes, it would have been nice to get all our errands done on Friday but if we had, we would have missed out on our impromptu mini vacation and going home feeling like we'd scored a happy memory instead of going home grumpy. ©
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Showing posts with label inconvenience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inconvenience. Show all posts
May 19, 2008
November 8, 2007
Timing is Everything
This past Tuesday a near disaster happened in the lobby of the building where Don goes for speech therapy. His wheelchair broke apart. The main bolt in the scissors-like bars underneath the seat snapped in two which made the whole thing fold up on itself---with Don sitting in it! The wheels, at the bottom, kept spreading farther and farther apart and at the top they kept getting closer and closer together until they were pinching Don in between them and the side panels snapped off their screws. Timing is everything. As I stool there panic stricken and not having a clue what to do, a professor we know walked by and asked if everything was okay.
"NO!" I replied, my voice edged in full panic mode, "Every thing is not okay." And I explained what was happening.
The professor flagged down a student she knew and sent her over to the conference hall, several buildings away, to sign out one of their curtsy wheelchairs for us to use while we were on campus. It seemed like it took forever and while I was waiting I kept ordering Don not to move even one inch which is hard for a friendly guy with short term memory issues to do. The college kids going back and forth in that lobby have always made him forget that we have places to go and things to do as we pass through.
Finally, I got him transferred to the loaner chair and up to class. While he was there I got his broken chair back in the Blazer, tracked down a phone book and made arrangements to stop at the orthopedics place on the way home. Don's had a new wheelchair on order for a couple of weeks and I knew it had come in; we were scheduled to pick it up next Monday. Timing is everything. They had just put it together that afternoon. They didn't have room on their schedule for a full adjustments appointment and the cushions hadn't come in but the chair was usable. Life was good again.
Timing is everything. This past month I've been working at the YMCA on a machine to strengthen my upper body and since I can't use our Bruno wheelchair lift in the Blazer until the new chair gets another style docking arm, I have to lift all forty pounds of its awkward metal and plastic in and out of the car until next week. So the extra muscle strength has come in handy although I still struggle and use a few blue words. Thank goodness a list of handy-dandy four letters words came with a Welcome to Caregiving packet.
This whole thing with the wheelchair turning into a pile of junk could have been so much worse. We were extremely lucky to have it happen where it did. We were extremely lucky that we had a new chair on order and to have the orthopedics place stay open until we got there to pick it up. Timing and nice people truly did save us from having an inconvenience turn into a disaster.
Jean Riva ©
P.S. I published a blog entry here last month titled Inconvenience or Disaster. I didn't think I'd be using the stress reduction techniques I talked about in it so soon.
"NO!" I replied, my voice edged in full panic mode, "Every thing is not okay." And I explained what was happening.
The professor flagged down a student she knew and sent her over to the conference hall, several buildings away, to sign out one of their curtsy wheelchairs for us to use while we were on campus. It seemed like it took forever and while I was waiting I kept ordering Don not to move even one inch which is hard for a friendly guy with short term memory issues to do. The college kids going back and forth in that lobby have always made him forget that we have places to go and things to do as we pass through.
Finally, I got him transferred to the loaner chair and up to class. While he was there I got his broken chair back in the Blazer, tracked down a phone book and made arrangements to stop at the orthopedics place on the way home. Don's had a new wheelchair on order for a couple of weeks and I knew it had come in; we were scheduled to pick it up next Monday. Timing is everything. They had just put it together that afternoon. They didn't have room on their schedule for a full adjustments appointment and the cushions hadn't come in but the chair was usable. Life was good again.
Timing is everything. This past month I've been working at the YMCA on a machine to strengthen my upper body and since I can't use our Bruno wheelchair lift in the Blazer until the new chair gets another style docking arm, I have to lift all forty pounds of its awkward metal and plastic in and out of the car until next week. So the extra muscle strength has come in handy although I still struggle and use a few blue words. Thank goodness a list of handy-dandy four letters words came with a Welcome to Caregiving packet.
This whole thing with the wheelchair turning into a pile of junk could have been so much worse. We were extremely lucky to have it happen where it did. We were extremely lucky that we had a new chair on order and to have the orthopedics place stay open until we got there to pick it up. Timing and nice people truly did save us from having an inconvenience turn into a disaster.
Jean Riva ©
P.S. I published a blog entry here last month titled Inconvenience or Disaster. I didn't think I'd be using the stress reduction techniques I talked about in it so soon.
October 15, 2007
Disaster or an Inconvenience?
We all make ourselves crazy over stupid things. I know I used to do it a lot. I was the queen of making mountains out of mole hills and I would stress out over, well... the dumbest things. A missed appointment, a road closure when I was running late, a flat tire, a miscommunication with a friend over a planned engagement, a rainy day when I had special plans---these types of things had me fretting and fuming and feeling like a failure because I couldn’t micro management my life into a flawless flow of trouble-free days.
Then I learned “the secret” but it came after I’d neatly had a melt down after Don’s stroke. I’d been in the caregiver’s circus less than six months at the time. Don was still going to therapies four days a week, all afternoon, which of course I had to attend. I was also involved in selling off his heavy equipment that was parked all over four counties, and I was worried about the two houses we had sitting void of human inhabitants because we had to move into a wheelchair accessible apartment. Cash flow was a serious issue. Our futures were uncertain.
I don’t know who told me “the secret.” I could have read it in a book, I could have learned it from the Oprah Show---I don’t remember. But I do know it changed my life and I’m going to tell it to you. Free of charge, no strings attached. Drum roll, please. Here it is. Whenever you’re stressed out or mad over something going on in your life, ask yourself this question: is this a disaster or an inconvenience?
With those seven little words I learned to dial down my stress level and I do mean dial it down big time. A flat tire? No, it wasn’t a disaster. No one died, no one lost a limb because of it. A friend who didn’t show up when expected? A miscommunication---a disaster or inconvenience? It certainly doesn’t rate up there with losing your home to a flood or fire. By applying the is-this-a-disaster-or-an-inconvenience question to every situation that had the potential for raising my blood pressure or hurting my feelings, it helped get me through some very tough times. The bottom line is that very few things fall into the category of a disaster and very few inconveniences are worth trading in your live-in-the-moment card for a membership in the Doom and Gloom Club where they sit around for days after every miss-step in life stewing about what went wrong.
Jean Riva ©
P.S. The photo is of me from about the time Don and I met. See the previous blog entry for his circa 1970 photo.
Then I learned “the secret” but it came after I’d neatly had a melt down after Don’s stroke. I’d been in the caregiver’s circus less than six months at the time. Don was still going to therapies four days a week, all afternoon, which of course I had to attend. I was also involved in selling off his heavy equipment that was parked all over four counties, and I was worried about the two houses we had sitting void of human inhabitants because we had to move into a wheelchair accessible apartment. Cash flow was a serious issue. Our futures were uncertain.
I don’t know who told me “the secret.” I could have read it in a book, I could have learned it from the Oprah Show---I don’t remember. But I do know it changed my life and I’m going to tell it to you. Free of charge, no strings attached. Drum roll, please. Here it is. Whenever you’re stressed out or mad over something going on in your life, ask yourself this question: is this a disaster or an inconvenience?
With those seven little words I learned to dial down my stress level and I do mean dial it down big time. A flat tire? No, it wasn’t a disaster. No one died, no one lost a limb because of it. A friend who didn’t show up when expected? A miscommunication---a disaster or inconvenience? It certainly doesn’t rate up there with losing your home to a flood or fire. By applying the is-this-a-disaster-or-an-inconvenience question to every situation that had the potential for raising my blood pressure or hurting my feelings, it helped get me through some very tough times. The bottom line is that very few things fall into the category of a disaster and very few inconveniences are worth trading in your live-in-the-moment card for a membership in the Doom and Gloom Club where they sit around for days after every miss-step in life stewing about what went wrong.
Jean Riva ©
P.S. The photo is of me from about the time Don and I met. See the previous blog entry for his circa 1970 photo.
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