January 9, 2010

My Facebook Page

It's a new year and with it came a promise to myself to get more active on my Facebook page. I’ve never particularly enjoyed or understood Facebook. I want layouts and colors to play with. I want more room to ramble. And I don’t like strangers showing up in lists of suggested friends. That’s creepy! But Facebook is Facebook so I decided to take the proverbial bull by the horns and figure out why it’s so popular.

After opening my Facebook page, I sat in front of the computer screen a full five minutes before my fingers made contact with the keyboard. And what came out after that long contemplation?---something thoughtful or deep to put on the ‘what’s on your mind’ line? No. My fingers typed: Why don’t angle worms freeze to death in the winter?

Where those words came from, I don’t know. I get loony that way from time to time, but the words were “shared” before I could think of something less lame to say. I waited. I waited fourteen hours and none of my 23 friends had an answer for me. No reply of any kind came back! Not one person was concerned for my mental health or for the worms outside in the frozen Michigan winter, for that matter.

I’m not a patient person so googled my question and to my shock there really is an interesting answer. “Angle worms,” according to John Johnson, “will begin hibernation with its tail in its mouth. It will then eat itself through winter right down to the last digestive tube. A 3-inch angle worm will decrease down to 1/4" over those months. Leaf worms, on the other hand, hibernate together in a large mass which looks like the inside of a golf ball.”

I’d share my new found knowledge with my Facebook friends but angle worms have survived for centuries without human sympathy for their dietary needs in the winter which leads me to my the other New Years Resolutions. Lose some weight. How I can type that resolution with a straight face while munching on a piece of Hershey’s dark chocolate is beyond explanation, but doing so has given me an idea: We can learn from the angle worms. We can live off our own body fat. So tonight when I go to bed I’ll attempt to sleep with my toes in my mouth. If I can extract some fat off my body to sustain me though the night I will finally have a reason to like my Facebook page. After all, it was because of Facebook that I came up with this bright idea. ©

John Johnson's full article on angle worms.


Anonymous said...

Can't wait to hear how your idea works out.

parlance said...

I have enough trouble tying my shoelaces, without even possibly imagining putting my toes in my mouth.

on the other hand, my downs syndrome niece can put her toes in her mouth anytime, and she's eighteen. she is so amazingly flexible. sometimes when she want something on the floor she just flops over and picks it up, her upper body parallel and touching her legs.

It's amazing.

By the way, I don't think I'd like the taste of my toes.

BookingAlong said...

If only people could use this idea and appear new and thinner after winter is gone. I always want to eat more in the winter when, perversely, I am moving less.

The Bee Folks - Lori Titus said...


I broke all my New Year's resolutions by Jan. 2. I figured I didn't have any anticipation left after that, so things are going much better now.

Care to share your facebook page address?